Read another life-changing book yesterday! I really love that I am stumbling across more and more of these and that the Universe just keeps tossing ’em my way. I feel like within the past year, the rate at which these life-changing books and experiences have come my way has steadily increased as each one opens me to more of myself, each one expands my awareness and understanding and readies me for what comes next. If you want to challenge your current existence, click here.
More and more I am drawn to shamanism. Pieces keep falling into place and all signs seem to point in that direction. I feel as though I am at the very edge of the beginning of something huge. Yesterday’s reading confirmed for me my feminine totem: the phoenix. I align so much with the Destroyer and the Dark Mother, so it is fitting that my feminine totem is the mystical animal that erupts into flames only to be reborn from the ashes. I was recounting how much 100 ways rocked my world to foxchild last night and telling her of my discovery. When I explained what I’ve written here, she who has such little confidence in her own Intuition and Voice, spoke and told me that I am to destroy the Self that I have been in order to become what I am meant to be (that was the gist anyway). Her words resonated within me, and I knew they were true (they also scared the shit out of her, amusingly, and she felt like she was going to throw up). I thought to my feelings of needing to re-parent myself and reconnect with my magical child – the child that was repressed as I grew up when magic had no place in my conservative Christian family. It felt like this was the last piece that needed to fall into place before I could really begin.
I find myself filled with a bubbling excitement that makes me feel like my skin is the only thing keeping me from going every which direction at once. It’s not easy to put into words. I feel like I’ve been (and continue to be) on a rollercoaster, and I’m taking in so much and transmuting everything I experience so that my logical side begins to question whether it’s pathological. I promptly tell my logical side to shut it and, instead, revel in the winds of life whipping through my hair, wearing away that which no longer belongs to reveal that which is meant to be.