What is perfect?

The topic of perfection has popped its head up at me again.  I’ve been a perfectionist for most of my life, as I’ve previously discussed here (somewhere), but within the past couple years, I’ve let go of the more unproductive side of that trait.  So when the universe tossed this construct at me, I began looking at it again, but through different eyes.

The first thing that came to my mind in thinking about most people’s struggles with trying to be perfect is that we need to redefine what perfect is.  And I know, that might make you balk because ‘perfect’ seems like one of those absolute, un-touchable constructs that can’t be modified, but I disagree.  I think our idea of ‘perfect’ being some absolute construct is a load of shit because truly, I don’t think anything is absolute.

I think back to what I thought was absolute a couple years ago and realize that I see all of those things as fluid now.  I think perfect is just another item to be not moved to fluidity, because I think it’s already there, and our placement of it as an absolute it just an illusion.  So, it needs to be recognized as fluid.  For if it’s fluid, then it can be, well, not redefined because I see only concrete things need redefining (and really, is anything truly concrete?  My thought is no, ‘concrete’ is an illusion, and everything is actually fluid), so perhaps more accurately, seen and understood for the fluid notion that it is.

I recall something that Sue Ann posted on my blog recently – “I am perfect through my imperfections” (or something like that).  Now, I some times think of Sue Ann as a Yoda of sorts in that some things she says take me forever to wrap myself around, but I think that this statement is about recognizing perfection as fluid.

On a nitty-gritty level, I think that the reason we spend so much time trying to be or do something other than what we are is because we don’t value what we are.  I think our recognizing our own perfection, our own wholeness, starts there.  Otherwise, striving to be something else stems from a feeling of “should” that we take on to ourselves from the outside world and is more trying to get away from what we are.  We will never feel whole or perfect if we are constantly doing that. When really, we are perfect because we ARE.  We are who we are right now because that is where we are meant to be and there is meaning in that.  I am as I am.  You are as You are.  I think we strive to be what we think is perfect (which is really just a blanket/general idea of ‘something else’) because we do not see the meaning in who we are right now.

Truly, I think ‘concrete’ is an illusion.  I think nothing is concrete. And yet, how often do we try to make things concrete?  We do it all the time.  It’s why we have labels for everything, why we categorize everything.  We are uncomfortable with the fluid because it changes and it therefore has a degree of the ‘unknown’ in it by nature, so we try to solidify it so it is less threatening.  But because everything is fluid, we struggle when we try to make it concrete.  We’d rather hang on to our illusion of concreteness and struggle instead of letting go of the illusion and flowing with the natural fluidity of life.  Unfortunately, a major drawback/side effect of trying to make everything concrete is that we sacrifice meaning and substance in the process.

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5 thoughts on “What is perfect?

  1. This is a wise-woman post.

    Our culture and society infects women with the ‘people pleasing disease.’ We are inundated with gender-based “shoulds.” It makes it hard for us to learn to just be. We are always trying to be something, something to someone, or something to everyone.

    As women, it is difficult for us to just be, yet it’s essential to our well-being.

    Your words are the inspiration and the elucidation.

  2. Beautifully written…

    and I don’t mean to be so confusing, really I don’t. It’s because of what I’ve got in my head. LOL I’ve got Unity awareness in my head and it makes things a bit ‘odd’. It makes communications a challenge. I’m trying though!

    “concrete” to me means something thoroughly mixed up and set, that’s full of air holes.

    What {{Mother wintermoon}} has said about a ‘people pleasing disease’ is true and, it’s those of us who have had it, that are the gullible dupes.

    The NEED to please others, is an emotional NEED. It is an emotional insecurity issue: psychological. This NEED is a result of us lacking in being Self Nurturing in the images and ideas we entertain about ourselves and the relationship we imagine we have with life and the rest of the world. It is a relationship pattern of dis-ease, just like {{Mother wintermoon}} said.

    And the cure for it, it to address its cause, which are ideas within us.

    The very idea of “imperfection” is a result of Conditional Love. Which really ins’t love at all, it’s NEED.

    REAL Love, GENUINE Love, extends itself FREELY, because it is JOYOUS to do so.

    Conditional Love barters, for the fulfillment of conditions, in order for Love (or Acceptance) to be extended. This is not Love; this is prostitution.

    It’s cause is a virus. A consciousness virus. A virus of mind. And is cured the moment we realize that our emotions are ours and, claim Creative Ownership.

    Our Perfectionist tendencies are fueled by FEAR of being ‘imperfect’. And the whole IDEA itself, rests on Love upon Condition.

    It is by my choice to live by a spiritual standard. That means I have a different set of values. I see our errors as opportunities to discover and express the Divinity within us. I respond to Imperfection by being Understanding, Embracing, Accepting, Tolerant, Patient and Forgiving.

    And I started practicing this attitude on my self, first.

    “I am made Perfect, as I was Created to BE, by and through, embracing my own imperfections.” Because in order to do it, I had to reach in and discover the Presence within my own Heart.

  3. If I don’t have it, I can’t give it.

    If I don’t know how to emotionally nurture myself, I won’t have any nurturing to express. All I will do is run around enabling emotional dependencies just like I insist and demand others do for me. Turning what once was just a virus of mind, into a sexual energy virus, too.

  4. To see both of you ladies’ comments here warms my heart.

    mwm – Thank you. And yes, I completely agree, we are inundated with those ‘shoulds.’ When we live trying to fulfill those shoulds, we live for someone other than ourselves and so will never be whole. It is when we are able to transmute those shoulds into ‘I want’ or ‘I need’ and concentrate on ourselves and our Self that we reclaim our lives as our own.

    Sue Ann – I meant the Yoda comment in the best possible way! 🙂 I see you functioning at a level of awareness and consciousness that I am working toward while also valuing and honoring where I am. Every time I go to your site and read your words and “get” them, I pat myself on the back. After all, how can one break down the concept of Oneness into divided pieces to make it easier to understand to those who are not fully embracing that Oneness yet without detracting from the beauty and wholeness of Unity? And yet, you have helped me in many ways to more fully grasp this idea, this Truth.

    What you have said about conditional and unconditional love is awesome. I get that! And if our love is to be unconditional, then we can put no conditions on it as to who it is for, who receives it. That would return it to being conditional. Just as we cannot only choose some people to be One with, we recognize our Oneness with all.

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