The topic of perfection has popped its head up at me again. I’ve been a perfectionist for most of my life, as I’ve previously discussed here (somewhere), but within the past couple years, I’ve let go of the more unproductive side of that trait. So when the universe tossed this construct at me, I began looking at it again, but through different eyes.
The first thing that came to my mind in thinking about most people’s struggles with trying to be perfect is that we need to redefine what perfect is. And I know, that might make you balk because ‘perfect’ seems like one of those absolute, un-touchable constructs that can’t be modified, but I disagree. I think our idea of ‘perfect’ being some absolute construct is a load of shit because truly, I don’t think anything is absolute.
I think back to what I thought was absolute a couple years ago and realize that I see all of those things as fluid now. I think perfect is just another item to be not moved to fluidity, because I think it’s already there, and our placement of it as an absolute it just an illusion. So, it needs to be recognized as fluid. For if it’s fluid, then it can be, well, not redefined because I see only concrete things need redefining (and really, is anything truly concrete? My thought is no, ‘concrete’ is an illusion, and everything is actually fluid), so perhaps more accurately, seen and understood for the fluid notion that it is.
I recall something that Sue Ann posted on my blog recently – “I am perfect through my imperfections” (or something like that). Now, I some times think of Sue Ann as a Yoda of sorts in that some things she says take me forever to wrap myself around, but I think that this statement is about recognizing perfection as fluid.
On a nitty-gritty level, I think that the reason we spend so much time trying to be or do something other than what we are is because we don’t value what we are. I think our recognizing our own perfection, our own wholeness, starts there. Otherwise, striving to be something else stems from a feeling of “should” that we take on to ourselves from the outside world and is more trying to get away from what we are. We will never feel whole or perfect if we are constantly doing that. When really, we are perfect because we ARE. We are who we are right now because that is where we are meant to be and there is meaning in that. I am as I am. You are as You are. I think we strive to be what we think is perfect (which is really just a blanket/general idea of ‘something else’) because we do not see the meaning in who we are right now.
Truly, I think ‘concrete’ is an illusion. I think nothing is concrete. And yet, how often do we try to make things concrete? We do it all the time. It’s why we have labels for everything, why we categorize everything. We are uncomfortable with the fluid because it changes and it therefore has a degree of the ‘unknown’ in it by nature, so we try to solidify it so it is less threatening. But because everything is fluid, we struggle when we try to make it concrete. We’d rather hang on to our illusion of concreteness and struggle instead of letting go of the illusion and flowing with the natural fluidity of life. Unfortunately, a major drawback/side effect of trying to make everything concrete is that we sacrifice meaning and substance in the process.