Over the past couple days I have reached a level of new beginning and becoming on my path. I had been walking my path with the energy of an adolescent, expecting it to simply be there as if I were on a moving sidewalk, and it would take me to where I wanted to go without my having to exert or expend any significant amount of energy. I recently began reading the book The Feminine Face of God, a work that explores the spiritual development of women. While reading, I came across a striking idea – a question and challenge each woman interviewed for the book faced during her spiritual journey: It is not enough to be a child of God, how do I become an adult of God?
The women in the book answered this question/challenge in numerous ways. I answered it by fully surrendering my Self to the Goddess without condition. I hadn’t realized it but before, I had only given my Self conditionally. I gave my Self if it meant that I didn’t have to experience fear or uncertainty, if everything in my life remained secure, if I received from Her what I wanted and needed, etc. But no relationship – particularly one with the Divine – can ever be fulfilling and whole if we do not give it everything we are without condition.
Since I have done that, I find my Self revitalized with new energy, an energy of beginning. An energy of wholeness. An energy of potential. Suddenly, it feels as though doors that had been closed to me can now be opened and will be when it is time. The blockage I felt surrounding me and closing in on me has disappeared. And I realize that what had been blocking me was myself.