It’s been a while since I came to visit here and even longer since I actually wrote something. Just as when visiting a once-familiar place, I found myself checking my favorite blogs that I used to visit every day much the same way one has a regular coffee shop or bookstore – cozy spots and havens where I would go and simply breathe in the energy of the space. Understandably, though no less disheartening, I’ve found that most of them have dried up or closed. I was met with an odd feeling, similar to that which one may experience when having come home after being away for a long time – everything has changed and suddenly what was once a familiar and comforting place now feels strange. Yet, all this is to be expected since I haven’t been here in months, written here since May. Cycles, change, beginnings, and endings simply are.
Samhain is quickly approaching and bringing with it the last harvest, the end of the year, and the beginning of a new one. As I reflect on the past year, looking to see where and who I was at this time 360 some days ago and all the events and experiences I have had since then, it continues to strike me how much has changed – not in a disbelieving way but quite the opposite. It is an amazing and wonderful thing to see that the traits and patterns in my Self that I released last year I no longer carry for the most part (or at least not in the ways in which I carried them last year) and to see that the things that I asked the Goddess and God to give me this year have manifested. This year certainly has brought with it a lesson in the importance of semantics in regards to how to ask for the things I want to be brought to me for the coming year (Momma is a bit of a trickster in that regard).
This past year has been full of new lessons for me, and a dominant theme within those is the element of Earth. In my spiritual beliefs and practices, Earth is associated with abundance, prosperity, finances, security, job/career, health, home, nurturing, and generosity (to name some of the bigger associations) as well as their contrary counterparts. One of the most powerful aspects of these lessons has been centered on the question, ‘What is home?’ I have learned that home is not the physical place where I live and return to after being out in the world all day. It is not the physical dwelling of my human parents or my parents themselves. It is not the place where I was born or where I spent most of the early part of my life. Home is Momma and Papa, the Goddess and God. Home is Their Presence that I carry with me everywhere I go. It is Their Essence that fills my Self and the physical dwelling that They have provided for me and that They share with me. And though initially that Truth was alarmingly frightening, now it is a great comfort.
This is a time of year for taking stock – recognizing the lessons learned and celebrating with gratitude for that which was provided as well as noticing those that went un-learned and why, those that still need work in the coming year. As the day of Samhain approaches, the energy around us gets heavier, oppressive almost, reminding us to do this work, to stay and turn with the Wheel. The God is now the Horned One preparing to offer His life to and for us and the Goddess shifts into the Crone, the Wise One. In the natural world around us, the leaves are turning colors as they begin to die, the weather gets colder, animals migrate or gather in what they need in preparation for the cold months to come, and the light continues to wane as the darkness waxes. This is the point in the cycle that is the Wheel of endings, of releasing, and of letting go for we cannot receive when the time comes to begin again if our fists are full and closed.