I’ve visited a couple happy blogs (The Wild Pomegranate, Leaves of Wisdom – both on my blogroll) on my regular rounds that have “Wishcasting Wednesdays” (which I love and think is fabulous). I’m definitely a proponent of casting wishes, so I will probably hop on that collective wagon at some point soon, but Momma has given me alternate instructions in the mean time: Manifesting Mondays.
I have been an absolute mess recently. It’s a miracle that this post has contained as many coherent sentences (I make no promises about paragraphs or that I will agree with anything I have written in as short as 12 hrs) as it does so far. It is so damn noisy in my head that I am driving myself crazy. Things are rough chez moi at the moment. Earlier today as I was reading The Bhagavad Gita I found myself beating myself up for not “getting it,” for being “too attached,” for not being “wise enough,” etc. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve thought within the past several weeks how I have not been handling all the circumstances going on around me “as well as” I would like to. I’ve been spending far too much time (again) in my own head which, in my experience, is so very not good for me (I don’t think it’s good for anyone to be honest, though I do recognize we have varying thresholds and I am not in a place to be throwing any stones ever, really, but especially right now).
Part of the problem, as I see it currently, is in how I’m thinking what I’m thinking and the dynamics I’m creating. It’s all dichotomous and leaves no room for growing – as in the process. I believe that every experience I encounter is an opportunity to learn and to grow, and very diffiult circumstances are incredibly rich with those opportunities. Yet, I’m inevitably sabotaging myself when I set up things in my head so that there is no room for process, no room for the act of growing.
In light of all that, I had the idea the other day to create Manifesting Mondays. My intention with this pursuit is to focus on one thing that I would like to manifest – whether inside myself, in my environment, etc. Here’s where I’m going to give myself a little peptalk. I am a Witch. I am a vessel for the Divine and an instrument of the Goddess and God. I have within me the ability to recreate my Self and my world in every second that is. Part of my daily practice of living my spirituality is to strive to determine where imbalance exists in myself and my world and to create balance in its place. One of the ways Momma and Papa have given me to do this is to manifest.
Today, on this first Manifesting Monday, I choose to manifest grace within myself: grace for myself to be allowed to move through the process of growth; grace in the place of that balance of setting appropriate expectations for myself while being understanding and compassionate; grace to rise up and meet me within me when I do fall short so that instead of just tossing in the towel, I breathe and get back up to try again; grace to help me connect more with who I truly am in these crazy times instead of drifting further away from me.