This cool, Florida morning finds me on the back patio again. Above the canopy of trees over my head, the sun is shining brightly in a near cloudless sky and dapples the ground in patches here and there. Some of our kitties are playing in the leaf-covered yard, attacking twigs and chasing faeries perhaps while others are lounging for a morning nap. Birds are singing to each other, and I remember the two owls serenading one another the other night on the roof. I breathe in gratitude and inwardly allow myself to unclench my Self. How amazing it is to have so recently experienced the harshness of resisting my experiences with the eviction and to be deposited by the Goddess and God to this place.
Almost every time I’ve come to this blog to write since its inception, I’ve tried to be or sound eloquent and wise and have been more focused on that rather than on simply writing from who and where I am. I’m done with that now and am reclaiming this space and taking it back from myself. My life seems like a big tangle of lessons – right now, more so than ever. And while I’d like to be able to be writing from a place of having figured them all out (or hell, even just one or two of them), that certainly wouldn’t be authentic and it’s nowhere near where I am. I’m writing from in the thick of it all, not after I figure it out and clean it all up so it’s neat and pretty.
One of my favorite shrink people ever is Abraham Maslow. His hierarchy of needs parallels both the basic chakra system and the association of elemental needs I’ve learned from my Teacher in my studies of Witchcraft. A couple days ago I spoke with my shrink supervisor on the phone about our situation – a conversation I had not looked forward to at all. I was a mix and mess of internalized guilt and shame, my thoughts were scattered and the only thing I could think of that I needed to let her know was that I would mail her the keys to my office and repay her for the supervision meetings I owed her for as soon as I could. She’s been an incredibly patient and understanding woman for the duration of my working with her (for which I am enormously grateful), and she reminded me of Maslow’s hierarchy during our conversation. Her suggestion to me was to focus on those basic needs, the ones I have learned to associate with the element of Earth: a place to live, a job, food for me and my family. Inwardly, I groaned. At best, my relationship with Earth for the past few years has been strained.
When I consider my relationship with each of the elements, I think I’ve taken Earth for granted more often than not. Growing up, all the Earthy things were just there. I think I grew up assuming they would always be, and I never really let go of that unTruth. Both of my parents’ element is Earth, though they tend to default to a contrary state. Unknowingly and quite naturally, I imagine I adopted their values and used them to build my own foundation with the element of Earth, an unstable one riddled with cracks and rot. I wonder about the past couple years and the work I’ve been doing with Earth and the (understandably) little progress it feels that I have made. Perhaps Momma and Papa decided that it would simply be easiest and best for me to just start over. In many ways that’s what this feels like – a condemned building that’s just been razed. The ground is now being tilled and leveled so a new foundation can be built.
So today, on this Manifesting Monday, I choose to manifest for myself a new foundation for my relationship with Earth, one that is rooted in gratitude and reverence. What do you choose to manifest for yourself today?