It feels as though I’ve been living at work for the past several days. I worked the dinner shift on Saturday, a double yesterday, and tonight and tomorrow I’ll be closing before I get a day off. I slept in this morning till 11am – my body needed the rest apparently.
During one of the shifts I’ve worked (the days are all blurring together right now), I was doing my beginning sidework before we opened, and someone had decided old(er) school hip hop was the music of choice. So there I was jamming along to Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre as I polished silver and glassware and internally fumed about what my schedule looked like over the days that would follow. Suddenly, there was an abrupt musical change. Snoop was silenced and U2’s Bono began serenading the restaurant. It wasn’t a song with which I was familiar, so my ears tuned in to listen to the lyrics. It was then that I noticed that the Universe was sending me a message as a little twinge in my belly let me know these were words I needed to hear, even as internally, my response was, “Hey!” as if I’d just been delivered a veiled insult:
“You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
Don’t say that later will be better
You got stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it.”
I learned later that the song was, “Stuck in a moment that you can’t get out of.” Rather lengthy for a title, I think, but also a propos. Especially that part about getting myself together. While I’ve had moments of clarity and purpose when I’m not wallowing, I’ve spent so much time – whether internally, here, or wherever – getting my “Eeyore” on via bemoaning my situation to the point where I’m even annoyed with me about it. Hell, look at how I began this post. Not that a good whine or venting can’t be cathartic from time to time, but certainly not when it becomes the norm. Enough. Shit happens. Life sucks some times. It’s all temporary and transient, though. And I’m far from being powerless, so the time for acting like I am is over.
So today, I am manifesting a new and (appropriately and balanced-ly) willful beginning; pulling myself back together in order to embrace a new moment – one rooted in gratitude, in alignment with my highest and best interest, and that will make my True Self and Momma and Papa sing with joy and ecstasy.